#I'd hate to be boring on top of all my pthwr personality deficits | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starpros-sunshine · 10 months ago

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I used to be funny you know? I used to have good humour and now every time I try to crack a joke I just feel awkward like I could've gotten that one delivered so much better. Smitten with the curse of not being able to be serious while also being horrible at being silly. If you ask me I'd rather be smitten with other curses but such is life I suppose.

#people say I'm funny but when have I ever made anyone genuinely laugh is the question you know?#it's horrible when most of your idols are comedians or well rather actors that got famour through comedy and fictional characters who are #just funny in their own way and it's one of the most desirable qualities in a person don't you know #a good sense of humour is very important it's just a shame I don't really have it #I wish I knew how to make people laugh I really do #I'd hate to be boring on top of all my pthwr personality deficits #the awkwardness I can live with the theatrics I can accept and the lame humour i don't like but what other choice remains #but boring no I don't want to be boring #nobody ever talks about me though and I don't like that #not even negatively #i hate that i really do #everyone just thinks I'm nice I'm just nice and nothing else I'm a footnote in a world full of interesting people I'm the nice one #that you don't have an opinion on except “nice''#thats why I'd be happy about anon hate to an extent because that means someone thought about me #i always think about how once I'm dead I'll just vanish and I don't want that #i want to leave /something/ in this world I don't want to live my life being an afterthought and then be forgotten in death #i don't even mind being lame but I just don't want to be nothing #my head hurts again I should stop thinking ugh this is what happens when you sit in silence for too long #oh i don't know I guess it really is just the fact that when you constantly look at the stars and want to reach their light it's hard #to deal with the way that you're stuck on the ground and will never even get close no matter how hard you try #but such is life I suppose there's no use in lamenting the spilled milk #delete later

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